I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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