yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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