he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize