If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
