I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
