Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
