So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My vagina is very pro this idea
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