Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
