hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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