I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
