Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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