perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
