Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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