just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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