Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
