U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
