Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
