i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize