let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
