Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
