You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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