I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
