I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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