All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
