At least make sure they are 18
Why
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
