What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
