Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
