he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
