I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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