And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
