My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
