I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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