Already got asked if we're dating
More tranny stories later!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
