Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize