i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
