i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
