i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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