There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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