I'm passing your future prison.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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