Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
