well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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