There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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