The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
