I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
