you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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