Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
