what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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