strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
