Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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