I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
