I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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