HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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