We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
