i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
