hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
