update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He better not be in your backpack
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
