Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
