I am in a vortex of obligation.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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