North Korea, Best Korea!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.