no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
