i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
They are going to name an STD after you.