bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
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Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
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my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.