ADVERTISEMENT

• (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

  Fav 842 145694 10615

  share tweet
  

• (419): View more from Ohio

  there is no way he can be that small

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  look on the bright side he'll over comepensate

  Fav 18 901 2806

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (618): View more from Illinois

  I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.

  Fav 47 909 5463

  share tweet
  

• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.

  Fav 49 6593 1972

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless

  Fav 22 1306 5683

  share tweet
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.

  Fav 14 4709 1316

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (+61): View more from Australia

  Did you get my bra back of the bartender?

  (1+61): View more from

  I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'

  Fav 4 1970 1674

  share tweet
  

• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite

  Fav 4 1371 1416

  share tweet
  

• (718): View more from New York

  My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.

  Fav 6 1053 1572

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty

  Fav 10 874 1125

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.

  Fav 3 712 453

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (317): View more from Indiana

  I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.

  Fav 2 749 447

  share tweet
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.

  Fav 0 530 405

  share tweet
  

• (925): View more from California

  Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.

  Fav 2 312 639

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (646): View more from New York

  he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.

  Fav 4 15 107

  share tweet
  

Randomize