They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
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I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
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I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?