dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
