And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
