Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
