I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning