so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Operation Purity has been aborted
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it