The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?